Many Christian men are of age and seeking a ‘Better-half” to call their own. This is an area where being as wise as a serpent, comes handy. Prayer and fasting alone will not help you much in this arena. Everywhere you look, it may seem as though the single ladies are not interested in you. Or they may seem interested in you and then tell you something like “sorry, I see you as a friend.” I am here to tell you, do not to lose heart. There is a woman for you. Be grounded in the Lord and keep your eyes open. These 8 tips will help you find a Lady.
1. Respect Your Elders
Before you go on flirting and going for ice cream with your ‘friend’, honour your parents and her parents. Make sure you have had a discussion with your parents about marriage and inform them of your intentions. Also, make sure the girl is in a position where her parents are aware she may potentially bring a guy home to meet them. You may not have found ‘The One” yet but let your parents know that you are ready and looking. At the end of the day its your choice. But respect your parents. Allow them to see you as a trustworthy mature man.
2. Work on your Presentation
This cannot be stressed enough. Don’t try being sexy, you will only look foolish. Be a well presented man. Shower everyday, brush your teeth, stay fresh, stay clean. The first thing that can turn women off is odor and a wrinkled shirt. A guy who doesn’t care for himself will not care for a lady. First impressions are one of several keys in getting a woman’s attention. Although, if you messed up on your first impression there is still hope. Women like pleasant surprises. You can redeem yourself. But don’t overdo it. Keep it simple.
3. If You are Desperate, Then You Lost Already.
Desperate men scare women away. Be firm, strong and patient. Exercise self-control. Don’t pursue her like there is no tomorrow. Many guys are not like Idris Elba, but women can still find them attractive because they are not desperate, they have vision, goals and they work hard. It is more psychological than anything. Take your time and be a godly man first. Stay occupied with your work/business and remain focused on your goals and ambitions. As you do these things you will see you attract her psychologically. Oh yeah, make sure you approach her. Get noticed. But don’t be desperate.
4. Work And Save Your Money.
If you are pursuing a lady, make sure you are working and saving/investing your money. This is what a responsible man does. You are not a boy relying on your parents. If you are in school full-time, make sure you have some sort of side income or a realistic plan that will bring you income within the next 6 to 12 months. Picture being a father and handing your own daughter to marry a guy who does not want to work. Im sure you would not even think of doing such a thing.
5. It Is Easier to Pursue A Girl Who Has Not Known You For Years Or Knows Little About You.
If you’ve recently decided to pursue a girl who you have been friend’s with ever since the two of you were in youth camp 12 years ago, then understand you’re making things more difficult. She may have liked you over the years but do not expect her to say YES when you ask her out. She has seen you for too long and her interest in you can wear off if you don’t make an early move. Women like mystery. If you pursue a lady who knows little of you or whom you’ve just met, then you have better chances at selling yourself as a potential partner.
6. Stop Sitting At Home Texting, DM’ing, Snapping, And Whatsapping Girls.
Texting and playing behind the phone will not take you anywhere. The phone should be used to set the date or to meet the girl face-to-face. If you sit at work, school or in your bedroom texting a girl for hours then you will turn into her texting buddy. You are also bound to be friend-zoned. Make a move early, be confident and ask her out. If she says no, then respect her choice and stop contacting her. Your next job is to wait for her to reach out to you with a “Hey Stranger.” When she does this then you have an opportunity to build a quick little convo and then ask her out again. Do not be so quick to text or call her at this stage. There is a reason why she reached out to you weeks or months after saying no to you. She may have been testing you and analyzing your manliness. She wants to see if you will become desperate like all the other boys trying to pursue her like lost puppies. I guarantee she will be more attracted to you when you maintain mental strength, self respect and patience by allowing some time to set in.
7. Let Her Know That You Are Godly. Don’t Hide It.
If the lady you are pursuing is very active in the church and appears to be a worshipper of God, then make sure you know what that means. It can be possible that she may be interested in ‘bad boys’ or she may really want a God-fearing man. You cannot be a bad boy and a godly man at the same time. Focus on godliness, studying the Word, and spending alone time in God’s presence. Don’t try to be a bad boy/tough guy or a rascal to impress a lady. Because if she is truly godly, then your godliness will impress her. If you choose to become a rascal or bad boy then you weaken yourself and you will be wasting your time. Let the lady see you as a hard working man who is in God’s presence. That is where God placed Adam in the beginning. That is a man’s starting position.
8. The Truth Is, She May Not Be ‘The One’. Learn To Be Okay With That. Don’t Be Desperate.
In all honesty, the girl you are pursuing may not be ‘the one.’ Be strong, don’t cry when you find out she suddenly has a boyfriend living in the U.K. Don’t get mad if her parents don’t like you. Respect her by giving her space and learn to walk away. Respect her parents’ choice as well. After all, she is someone’s daughter. Hey man, you never know what the future may hold. She may come back in your life after some months, but don’t be preoccupied with her in your thoughts. If she is currently boo’d up or her parents don’t want you, maintain your dignity and learn to walk away. Move on, move forward, be a man. Only God knows if she will come back. And if she does come back and you happen to be courting another lady, then don’t take her back as an intimate friend. She is not for you. Be wise.
There are so many more things to say about this subject. This is not a one size-fits all guide but it is proven to work if applied well. The key is not to be a player, a flirt, or a desperate guy. The key is to be confident, respect women and be patient. The right woman will come your way.
To Be Continued…